Archive for the 'Comparisons' Category

Tennis vs. Being Literally Drunk with Power vs. Schtick

tennis being literally drunk with power schtick
number of objects in play one potentially billions if it pleases me 2 or more
replayability very high seldom high
repercussions lateral epicondylitis, achilles tendonitis, etc. revolt, abdication knee injuries, bruises
# of puny minions enslaved maximum 3 (in doubles; generally not enslaved) throngs less than 1 throng
Number of states during game 2 (ball in my court or in your court) we weary at this niggling interrogation number of discs in play + 1 (generally up to 10)

Cockfighting vs. Being Defenestrated vs. Schtick

cockfighting being defenestrated schtick
chicken? required optional optional
associated w/ political upheaval? generally not yes generally not
get cardiovascular exercise while having great fun no no yes
great family activity no no yes
Required equipment 2 blue hens building with windows 2 discs, 10 rags, playing field
Nuclear sub? no no no

Soccer vs. Ultimate vs. Schtick

soccer ultimate schtick
use the most coordinated part of body (hands) no (except goalie & throw-ins) yes yes
less athletic players able to compete alongside more athletic players generally not generally not yes
brain damage due to head trauma yes no no
# of objects in play 1 1 2-3
brain damage due to head trauma yes no no
spectacular 1-handed diving catches no yes yes
flexible rules no no yes
disc throwing skills required none much some

Golf & Common Errands vs. Schtick

golf driving to store to get a cup of coffee schtick
multitasking activities schmooze business people listen to prominant rehabilitated radio personality experience sporting fun alongside friends and family
compliance w/ Kyoto Protocol no no yes
extreme flatulence discouraged acceptable if alone he who smelt it dealt it

Touch Football or Schopping vs Schtick

shopping touch football schtick
exercize infinitesimal infinitesimal um, yes
% of people actually having fun 50 7 (the quarterback) 100
you happen by a bunch of people engaged in _____. what do you see? people milling about people milling about a bewildering frenzy of discs, people running in opposite directions, and a dog or 2
how long your 5-year old offspring can legitimately participate 10 minutes 1 minute 1 hour and counting

Some Common Pastimes Vs. Schtick

watching ‘the price is right’ foraging for nuts & berries schtick
exercize infinitesimal some lots
% of people actually having fun .0001 (the actual guy who won something on the show) 0 100
high point finding ‘faily decent’ slim jim between the cushions of couch discovering unusually large mullberry too numerous to mention
you are maimed in the course of doing _____. what do you exclaim as you grasp the affected limb(s)? blast you, bob barker and your ‘have your pet spayed or neutered’ ploy! ouch (y)ouch